Depression or just feeling depressed?

January is almost over - phew! The worst month of the year is nearly done. How many people apply for a new job or book a holiday or decide to move or give their relationships an overhaul during the first few weeks of the year? Although I’ve never actually been diagnosed with depression there have been times in my life when I definitely have felt very low, usually at the beginning of the year. I’m sure that applies to almost everyone. The difference is that real depression strikes whether or not your life is going down the plughole. Feeling depressed or hopeless about the future usually happens when your life seems to be going out of control or you’ve had a run of bad luck. The good news is that as you age you become better at handling these low points and can stand back and take stock of your life. Shortly after I retired early from my full time job, my baby granddaughter was born and I threw myself into helping my daughter care for her. I had several hobbies and I volunteered for a local charity. So I was very busy and content with my lot. However within a year my daughter’s relationship with the father broke down and things rapidly deteriorated. I despaired as I watched my lovely girl become more careworn attempting to keep her head above water. Although we could help her financially we couldn’t help mend her broken heart. Anyone who thinks parents go it alone by choice and single parenthood is a doddle shored up by copious benefits deserves to be shot! After a while things started to improve and bit by bit our girl’s life began to settle. But just when the garden appears great some rotten weeds start sprouting. I wasn’t prepared for my husband’s mini nervous breakdown or that while I was putting on a “happy” front I was weeping on the inside. Looking back now I can see the odd behaviour I was exhibiting, (which I put down to the last knockings of the menopause). I was crying at the drop of a hat, and although exhausted at the end of the day, I found it hard to sleep as I was constantly worrying about the future. Worst of all I became very needy with other people, becoming defensive if I thought they were ignoring or avoiding me – yet I could hardly blame them. None of the self-help books I read avidly appeared to offer any real help at all. In fact they were so negative and depressing they made things worse. Then – I discovered yoga. In the last 21 months since I started I have discovered my inner serenity. I still worry of course, who doesn’t. It’s the 21st century disease. But now I am able to put everything into perspective. Worrying about the future never stopped the future from happening did it? My husband took early retirement and is so much better without juggling the stress of the job and family commitments. We spend as much time as possible with our gorgeous granddaughter. Our daughter is moving on with her life and guess what? I’ve ditched all negative influences in my life including people who just want to drag you down with their awful tales of woe though appear to have no time for you and your problems. All the self-help books have been binned – I’ll help myself in future. Namaste - peace be with you.